Cloudibo
by Asena
Summary: It's Marlene's birthday, and she just had to choose to go to the Cloud's most favourite place in the universe, didn't she? The Chocobo Farm! :D One-shot.


**Note: Sooo my first drabble. Or rather, I wrote this before, and submitted it like two years ago. And have now revamped it. ;D Personally I believe the Cloud/Chocobo pairing is sorely underrated! Please rate and review**

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As they trampled through the lush morning grass, Cloud Strife began to wonder how on gaia he agreed to this.

It was Marlene's birthday. On Denzel's birthday about a month ago, he had been allowed to have a 'birthday party' anywhere he wanted, within reason - and so they had all gone to the Gold Saucer and had had an… acceptable time. Cloud still had nightmares about that place. But it had been fine. It had even been their first time on the Shera. All lovely, but Marlene had, of course, wanted to think of somewhere that would rival how fun it had been - and that kid can be damn competitive when she wanted to. So she had chosen the Chocobo Ranch. Yes, apparently the _Chocobo Ranch_ is next to 'fun' in the dictionary…

Denzel had never heard of a chocobo, so Tifa had had to explain. She - like most females - pretty much adored them. Cloud really couldn't see _how_ her and Marlene came to the conclusion that they were the cutest, most adorable things on the planet, as they looked rather like oversized chickens at best. The last time that Cloud had ridden a chocobo (read: _forced by manic girls_) had been the time they'd needed to cross the marsh on their journey to defeat Sephiroth. Him and Barret had wanted to just go through and slay that ridiculous 'Midgar Zolom' (they never actually saw it, it probably didn't even _exist_…) but nope, apparently logic got in the way as ever. And that had been okay. His chocobo had been quite placid (maybe it had been drugged…), but now? They didn't even need to go anywhere! And they could use an _airship_. He'd choose Cid over a chocobo any day. But no. No. They had to visit the Chocobo Farm. This was the worst, _worst_ idea _ever_…

"You aren't still sulking, are you, Cloud?"  
Cloud looked up to see Tifa grinning mischievously at him from the front of their little four-person precession. Tifa had found it very strange that Cid hadn't wanted to join them. Cloud hadn't. He'd even tried to hide on Cid's airship, but Marlene had found him! How did she _do_ that!?

"Not sulking. Trying to gather remaining sanity. I mean," Cloud added hastily, at a death glare from Tifa, as Marlene looked over, looking horrified. "I mean, this was the best idea in the world. I can't wait. Yippee." Apparently this was satisfactory, as Marlene resumed her chanting of 'chocobo, chocobo!' and Tifa returned to trying to spot the farm in the distance with Denzel.

Suddenly, the boy fell back against the grass, making them all stop abruptly. "Tifa!" he exclaimed breathlessly; he had managed to trip over a large y-shaped mark in the ground, and was now staring at it in wonder. Many of the chocobo prints were scattered around the area, meaning it was a place where wild ones roamed - none, however, that Cloud could see, fortunately. Once Tifa helped Denzel up with a laugh, the four continued walking - and soon Marlene took both their hands and began dragging them faster; the farm had come into view. She seemed disappointed that they weren't approached by a group of the large yellow beasts, but soon brightened as two figures noticed them from just outside the pickets. Bill and his son, Billy probably - original names… - and Cloud had never liked them much, or perhaps that was just because he didn't like chocobos. Either way, he wanted to stay as far as possible away from them.

"Oh, look!" Marlene cried, and they all followed her gaze to see a giant creature peeking out from behind one of the barns. Surveying them curiously, it seemed to accept them as safe and chirruped in such a way that made Cloud want to tear off his arm just so that he had something to throw at it. Meanwhile, the kids were in 'oh-my-god' mode, and Tifa had made her way forward to stroke it gently along its neck. Fluffing its wings, it turned its great blue gaze towards her and made a low noise that sounded akin to a purr.

"Wark! Warrrk!" Marlene chirruped back, giggling, but Denzel seemed to be clutching his fist tightly, backing away from it. Cloud couldn't blame him. Surely he, as a fellow man-to-be, would detest the creatures as much as him? Cloud was looking around for means of escape when Marlene noticed his hesitance, and bounded over to him. "Come on, don't be scared!" These words could have been kindly, but coming from her sounded rather forbidding - especially as she began attempting to push him forward. Once she realised he wasn't going to budge this evolved into tugging at his arm. It didn't work.

But suddenly - why was Bill just _watching_ him being tortured? Was Tifa laughing!? - it seemed to move closer towards him. Making strange high-pitched noises, it lashed out with its beak. Cloud moved back in alarm, but then it bounded forward and closed its eyes, nuzzling his head, purring and squawking in equal measures. Marlene giggled and clasped her hands together, while Denzel looked alarmed. Tifa, however, was in a silent fit of hysterics. The chocobo didn't seem to find Cloud as the respectable human that he was, but rather as a chocobo! Why the hell was that? Where did it get _that_ idea? This was exactly why he hadn't allowed Marlene to have a pet, animals were just so stupid!

"It's mating season, right?" Tifa teased, in that innocent voice of hers. Cloud glared at her. Marlene and Denzel were outside playing with the younger chocobos that had been born last year - they took a while to grow - whilst Cloud and Tifa were indoors with Chocobo Bill, who had understood the whole situation. Tifa still seemed to find the whole situation amusing.

Billy had managed to find a girl crazy enough to marry him from Kalm, and her comment had been, "Oh, it's probably because of your hair, dear!" They'd already bored him stiff by reeling off useless information; what had been 'happening in the area'. Which basically consisted in lack of chocobos, raise in chocobos… green prices fluctuating… and so on. And this latest comment was the last straw. At school he'd had his fair share of 'cloudibo' and personally he wasn't looking forward to a few cosy flashbacks.

Tifa had bought a bag of greens for them all to feed the chocobos with - what were they, ducks? Actually, that sounded quite accurate - but this hadn't stopped 'Cloud's friend' as Tifa called him from whining and pining and squealing and generally trying to get through the gate _at him_. It was probably still there now, scrabbling at the sides and running around in frenzy! He couldn't see where the chocobo-using warriors got their ideas from; so what if they were swift runners and capable? They were still puffy yellow _annoyances_!

Even Denzel was beginning to warm up to them, despite his caution. Apparently he was a 'natural', according to Bill. A natural at what, poking bits of food in their direction, then jumping out of his skin when they looked at him? And then there was Marlene, who had asked whether she could take one home - they had been given the chance to ride the yearlings, and she had become buddies with a wimpy one who kept getting pecked by the others.

Now the chocobo-rearing family had asked whether they would like to stay for dinner. Before Cloud could decline, Tifa had accepted immediately - typical. It was a shame really, because Tifa was famous for her cooking, and she was to help Billy's wife organise the meal. Apparently the ranchers cooked chocobo eggs and occasionally meat, although how anyone could get close enough to one to kill it without screamingat it for being alive in the first place was beyond Cloud's understanding. Not to mention the meal they were to be served was called the 'Chocobo Special'. How persuasive…

"Cloud, could you get the kids in?" Tifa called from the kitchen. His eyes widened and he looked around helplessly for someone else who'd do it - but Billy and his father were on the other side of the farm cutting the grass and organising food for the chocobos; and Billy's wife was helping Tifa set the table.

"Of - of course!" he called back, voice trailing into a curse as he stood up and swooped outside. "Marlene, Denzel! Dinner!" …no answer. Cursing again, he began trudging along the grass towards the little farmhouse they were getting attached to. "Next they'll turn _in_to chocobos…" he muttered to himself. Where the hell were they?

Thankful he was wearing some wellies that Billy's wife had prepared for him, he stood still in the mud - he could have _sworn_ he was actually sinking… - hand raised at his forehead, searching for them. Then he heard a muffled cheep, and turned slowly to stare at the farmhouse. He'd been hoping that he wouldn't actually have to enter it, but it looked like he had no choice.

Sighing, he drew back the doors, then froze, deadpan, at the scene that was displayed before him. All the chocobos seemed to be gathered in one area, looking at something, and making high-pitched noises. Was there some food over there? Had they been fed yet, or something? Cloud took an anxious step forward, one eyebrow raised. Then several of them looked up at once, with wide blue eyes, and he was about to flee when he noticed a flash of pink ribbon within their circle.

Oh, for the love of early nights and breakfast in bed. "Kids! Dinner! Time!" he called out impatiently, but nothing happened. The chocobos seemed to have deemed him unsatisfactory, for they turned back with 'typical!' sort of looks on their face. Wait, what was he thinking? Chocobos didn't have 'sort of looks', they didn't have expressions… running a hand through his hair, he took a very manly step forward, coughing pointedly. But nobody answered.

That was it. He'd had enough of this. He put a hand on one of the chocobo's shoulders - or what he assumed was a shoulder - and expected to be pecked, but rather they moved aside, as if to show him their masterpiece.

All the chocobo youngsters were curled up asleep, fluffy little wings covering their bodies in a sickeningly cute manner, breathing heavily and occasionally omitting a gentle chirp. "Yes, very cute," Cloud said irritably - what a waste of time. He was about to leave when he realised that in the centre, Marlene and Denzel were curled up too, surrounded by the little fluffy things, looking for the world as if they completely belonged there. For a moment Cloud was so startled he couldn't move; which seemed precisely what the proud chocobo rabble wanted, as they immediately moved towards him.

"Hey, hey! No - oh for the l-" Cloud's ranting was cut off as a chocobo nuzzled his neck; it was that chocobo from before! The one that…

He tried to bat it aside, but it seemed very obsessed with the idea of hugging his middle with its wings, then put its beak on his shoulder and stared down at the group of kids - bird and human alike - as if their job was truly done in life. Cloud was so frozen in place with mixed revulsion and complete misunderstanding that he didn't notice the chocobos begin to move in on him, beginning to push him coaxingly down onto the hay covering the farmhouse floor. Wait - if the _kids_ slept basically piled on top of eachother… then… he did _not_ want six hundred pounds of fluff on top of him! "No - ackff… help!"

When Tifa came out onto the porch, confused, to call for them all - and received no answer… well, she assumed the worst, and returned inside to cackle profusely. Cid really was missing out.


End file.
